I know you have heard of do-it-yourself –
For things such as plumbing or building a shelf.
I didn’t think that “self” meant me.
I thought my husband could do you see.
But, oh the surprise that awaited me there.
As he did it himself and I took a chair.
There were troubles galore in our rental house,
The “potty” was failing but plumbers were out.
But my “Mr. Fix-it” went right to the task,
When he was done in his glory he’d bask.
He retrieved the culprits – brushes and pins –
“By-golly, I’ve made it” he said with a grin.
But he wasn’t done yet, so I didn’t say thanks –
I’m glad I didn’t for he then broke the tank.
He made a quick trip, a new tank to buy –
And hurried right back to again make a try.
But alas! ‘Twas no use – as he wielded the tools –
He gave s strong turn and thereby broke the stool.
Well finally, after much money was spent –
The “johnny” was fixed and the house we could rent.
But there came a day when we went for a ride –
And the trailer box decided to slide.
“I’ll fix it” he said, “so it won’t get worse –
That’s the best way I know to put strings on a purse”.
When we got home he went right to his chore –
And at that project he really did score –
But not with a homer – a hit – nor a base –
He burned out the wiring – that’s an OUT, a disgrace!
But a few days went by and again he took heart.
In an effort to help me he was doing his part.
He took all our lamps apart to be cleaned –
He polished and shined – oh how they gleamed!
But assemble time came – out came the wrench –
And I sure do wish I hadn’t just sat on the bench.
I’m sure all his strength at such times he turns on –
For a bolt that he tightens could withstand “THE BOMB”.
He gave it a turn, smiled and set it aside –
But a few seconds later, in the midst of his pride –
There came a faint “pop” – Oh no, it can’t be!
Oh yes it can – the lamp’s broke – oh me!
My “do-it-yourselfer” took one look at me –
Then threw up his hands – disgusted was he!
“Everything that I do just winds up a mess –
We’d be farther ahead if I repaired less”!
And you know I’m almost inclined to agree –
That the “do-it-yourselfer” should really be me.
And you know the secret of my success?
When it comes to repairing – well, I’ll confess,
I don’t trust myself – so an expert I call –
The “BUDGET” is busted – but our “PRIDE” doesn’t fall.
Gaylia Kenslow – Stogsdill
Written especially for Herb (Hubert Stogsdill) and an extremely long run of mistakes.
Copyright Roy Richard