Don’t Ever Find Yourself… by Roy Richard

“Don’t ever find yourself alone in a room with him.”
	An instruction from my Dad about a certain Uncle.
“Why? He is funny, he makes me laugh.”
	“Just listen to what I’m telling you.”

So I began to live in fear of this man.
	The more I tried to stay under the radar,
The more, it seemed, he noticed me, talked to me, engaged me.
	I would tremble, reply in stammers and flee his presence.

Walking home from school one day, he rolled up beside me.
	“Hey, wanna ride?”
I ran into the field, ran till my sides ached.
	Took the long way home, staying hidden. 

This monster, this molester of little boys,
	Spent two stints in Jackson for his evilness.
Mother was contacted by the parole board the last time.
	Early release? Parole? She begged them to keep him.

As a boy he scalped himself in a sledding accident.
	Grandfather wouldn’t pay for a doctor.
He had Grandmother and another Uncle hold him down,
	While he sewed him up.

He would ‘bother’ the other boys at night,
	Grandfather would tie his hands behind his back.
He would bring home classical music and literature.
	Grandfather would destroy it calling him a sissy.

Did my Grandparents create this monster?
	Did their actions / inactions contribute to his illness?
Would he fare better in the world today?
	Would love, understanding and acceptance helped him?

Whatever, whoever might be responsible for him,
	I curse to damnation.
The fears and scars on my life still exist.
	Haunting my memories and dreams.

Roy Richard
November 2022

Copyright Roy Richard

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