I can’t believe I got the job! Granny had been threatening me that I would have to move out of her basement if I didn’t begin to carry my weight. I do not understand, I’m a twenty-three-year-old man still trying to align his life goals. It was so unfair that mom and dad tossed me out three years ago but now granny?

I have applied for a lot of jobs in the past two weeks, even though they were way below my standards and as expected no one called me in for an interview. Until today. What luck, a job.

The want ad on Craig’s list stated the following, “Wanted: President / CEO for a large manufacturing and distribution center in the north. Full time employment with minimal personal involvement. Lucrative pay with great benefits. Housing and transportation included. Prefer “Lone Wolf” type personalities.” 

Personal involvement? Really? I do not have the time for that and as far as being around manufacturing, not me! But maybe it will satisfy Granny.

I got the job. Training starts tomorrow.

The training was in a lower-level conference room in a downtown hotel. I arrived a few minutes late and hurried into the lobby. A bell hop looked at me and pointed me to the stairs. I asked how he knew where to direct me and he only laughed and said, “Come on, really? Look in the mirror lately?”

I descended the stairs and walking to the room, opened the door and entered. I had expected that I was the only one in training, but the room was filled with nothing but losers. Maybe twenty men who appeared to be lowly basement dwellers. The type that has no future and still live with their parents. And to top it all off, I doubt anyone in the room had showered lately.
 
I found an empty seat and listened to the instructor talk about dealing with ruthless labor forces and how their hostilities could send even the most well timed organization off the tracks. A lot of time was spent in proper HR tactics and strategies on consoling the spirit of revolt.

After this a break was called for and as the losers in the room ran for the doughnuts, I spied a classy lady who appeared to be in charge. I headed for her to find out why these losers were here.

After I explained my concerns and questioned her, she smiled and replied to me, “We always have some backups trained, just in case. Many do not last for very long. The remote location, the lack of normal human interaction, the volatile work force and the one day of grueling work hours often led the chosen one to quit.”

I scored some sugar cookies and a hot chocolate before heading back to my seat. Come on, how hard can it be to be Santa?