A few of my favorite jokes:

Two Peanuts:
Two peanuts were walking down the street—one was assaulted.

A piece of string walks into a bar:
A piece of string walks into a bar and walks up to the counter.
The bartender says, "Sorry mate, we don't serve pieces of string in here, get lost."
Upset, the piece of string walks out the door. A sudden thought strikes him. He ties himself in a knot and messes his hair up.
He walks back into the bar and approaches the counter. The bartender says, "Oi, aren't you that piece of string from before...?"
"No," says the piece of string, "I'm a frayed knot."

Powerful liquid:
A Priest observed a young boy playing with a mason jar full of kerosene. He would shake it all up and then watch the bubble float. He asked the boy, “Watcha got there son?”
“Why it’s kerosene Father, the world’s most powerful liquid!”, he replied.
The Priest corrected him, “No son, Holy Water is the most powerful liquid on the earth. I can add a drop to the belly of a woman expecting a child and she shall pass a boy.”
“Hell Father,” the child shot back. “I can place a drop of this on a cat’s ass and he will pass a bus!”

Roy Richard
October 2023