For a writing class I recently took. It was suggested that I cut the first paragraph. Not sure if I agree…..

During the final seven sessions, students will focus on a culminating project of up to 5000 words. This should be some form of fiction but can be any genre of the student’s choice (including prose poetry). An excerpt from a longer short story, novella, or novel is fine. Students are encouraged to find some time each week to work on their culminating project, especially after the fourth week of the course. At the end of our final class, students will have the opportunity to share any writing they choose at an informal reception.

This is the tale of how the great Second REVOLUTION started. We all know the outcome and the final unity of the human race. After all, we live and bask in the glory of it each day. A few of you, consider it the first REVOLUTION due to the failure of the first. Some think that the first REVOLUTION brought the initial focus to the evilness of the movers and shakers of the world and should not be considered. The REVOLUTION in these pages is the one that at last managed to undermine the evil wealthy men of the country. 

It must be said though that the martyrs of the first REVOLUTION deserve their recognition and honored place in our history. Their story is well known as is the results of the second.
 
The story of Jimmy Vascoe and his start in the rebellion is often misspoken.

I am here to set the story straight.

*****

The appearance of the Homeland after the crackpot came into power reflected a world that the now dead and forgotten inhabitants of a few generations before could ever have imagined. The populace of that generation lived lives of mistrust and hatred for anyone with opposing opinions. They were a generation at odds with each other. A slight majority of them supported a corrupt and vengeful man. He sprouted unbelievable lies and mistruths. All things leaving his mouth were eaten up and digested by his gullible followers. They believed all lies, half-truths, it did not matter. His words satisfied the hate, bigotry and  villainy that lived in their souls. This man, who many believed to be a wizard, promised good to all. In the end he only promoted the ELITE.

Within months of his coming into power, the citizens' dreams seemed to be coming true. Undesirables vanished from sight. A few questioned their absence, their questions were silenced by threats from the policing forces. Slums, ghettos and projects were demolished and replaced with bright, shiny new buildings. Those displaced by the razing of their homes were ignored. The new buildings promised an easier life and better wellbeing for all. High Tech Hospitals, Auditoriums of Enrichment, Halls of Greater Learning sprouted in the cities.

Public services increased. Everyone felt safer and more secure. The Police Force grew and officers were never far away. Public workers, fixing, repairing and sprucing up added a constant hum to the landscape.

Lab grown food became plentiful and available to all. Hunger was a thing of the past. Farming was no longer needed.

*****

After a time though many began to realize that only the ELITE had access to the services of the new programs and buildings. Wait times for the average citizen to experience the new grew from a few days, to weeks and then months. It was noticed that the ELITE seemed to have their own private access to those services.

Taxes were raised to pay for the services. Strange and idiotic laws were passed. These laws dealt with how and what the average citizen felt, thought and spoke about the Government the Wizard had created. Any negative words or actions against the Government were considered treason. Free speech had died a tragic death. Many disappeared after being arrested by the Police.

Small groups of protestors began to challenge the Government. Marches and sit-ins sprung up. All were quickly dealt with and the leaders disposed of by hanging.
After a time, the so called dissidents banded together and an  uprising occurred and to quell the chaos, the government brought in its military. An act unheard of, never had the citizens seen their own soldiers turn weapons upon them. Thousands died. The leaders of the revolt at last were captured and publicly executed by firing squad.

*****

At this point, all nonservice citizens were banished from the cities and given the class ranking of PITIFUL.  The service citizens were moved to the outskirts of the city, they became known as the VASSALS. Two walls were hastily erected. The outer wall kept the PITIFUL out of the city. The inner wall protected the VASSAL from the PITIFUL and kept them away from the ELITE. The military the walls, firing at will on any suspected rule breakers.

The VASSALS had a life better than the PITIFUL, with the minimal of their needs met. Their homes were kept warm, a meager amount of food was provided and basic education given. The PITIFUL outside both walls were, for the most part, forgotten. To control the citizens a state religion, THE CRADLE, was invented and forced upon the masses.
This religion followed the teachings of BROTHER V. No one was sure of his exact message, only this much:

“I wanted all things to seem to make some sense,
so we could all be happy, instead of tense…”

This slogan was everywhere, on walls, t-shirts, etc.. Many had never learned to read; the symbols of this doctrine were burned into their brains. The rest of the teachings forced upon the citizens came from 3-ring binders where the PROPHETS recorded the inspired voice of BROTHER V. This doctrine changed depending on the PROPHET. Each had written their own personal interpretation of the inspiration.
The only state supported activity  in the lands of the PITIFUL, were the CATHEDRALS of the PITIFUL. Each COMMUNITY of the PITIFUL boasted their own CATHEDRAL. Built of cinder block, with no windows. Each building had one door in and out. There were no seats, the congregation was expected to stand. On the wall opposite the doors stood a small pulpit for the PROPHET. All walls in the CATHEDRAL were bare save for the wall behind the pulpit. It held in large block letters, the BROTHER’s quote along with a small 8x10 black and white photo of him.

All members of the COMMUNITY gathered weekly to hear the message of their PROPHET. The PROPHET did not live in the COMMUNITY, rather they traveled from the service ring to the COMMUNITY CATHEDRAL and delivered the weekly homily. The hours-long service held nothing of hope for the COMMUNITY. The message contained nothing more than a ridiculing, belittling. In essence the sermon mocked the PITIFUL. The PROPHET’S message and words delivered their version of BROTHER V’s writings. During this time, all stood upright and at attention. As the mornings drug on the windowless room filled with the stink of its attendees, the temperature inside quickly becomes unbearable.

*****

Those living outside the walls were divided up into class sections:
Females were only used for procreation and domestic duties. Never acknowledged or spoken to in public, they were the lowest of the PITIFUL.
The males either took on the role of HUNTER, FARMER or SCAVENGER. The HUNTERs were the ELITE of the PITIFUL, they supplied the game and fish that sustained the COMMUNITY.

The FARMERS were a step below the HUNTERs in that crops also brought life.
The SCAVENGERS were the PITIFUL of the PITIFUL. They roamed the deserted buildings and lands around them, seeking items that might be of use.

A few lucky boys might, on occasion, be chosen to be relocated into the service ring for training, preparing them to become VASSALS for service to the ELITE.
The children of the PITIFUL were provided with no education. The ELITE saw no need to bother with it. Cook, clean, bear babies, hunt, farm, scavenge, these did not require learning. At eleven years old, the children were deemed grown and were assigned to their designated class within the PITIFUL. They began to prepare for their adult existence.

*****

Jimmy Vascoe was thought to be one lucky little boy. Raised by one of the more caring groups of mothers, he excelled and was everyone’s favorite. It was assumed that when he turned 11 the natural course for him was to leave and become some type of VASSAL. Their assumptions were correct, Jimmy was chosen to serve and even more exciting he was chosen to become a PROPHET.

The day after his 11th birthday, the soldiers came for him. Jimmy hugged his mothers and with a whimsical skip and a short laugh, he traveled with the soldiers to his future. He promised the COMMUNITY to return and to care for them when it was time.
All went well for the first 4 years, a time of indoctrination into VASSAL life and school. The day that Jimmy turned 15, he was moved into the sanctuary of the PROPHETS. Here, things began to go sour. He began to question the teachings and instructions.

Nothing they taught seemed fair to those outside of the ELITE Class. In his heart he questioned why the PITIFUL and the VASSAL did not have the same rights and benefits of the ELITE.

SCRIBES and SCHOLARS, the elder of the PROPHETS, instructed the young minds. They quickly tired of his hand raising and questions. They voted that he was not a worthy candidate to become a VASSAL and especially not a PROPHET.

At 15 Jimmy was returned to his COMMUNITY, a failure and outcast. The disappointment of his friends, neighbors and mothers was evident. This their shining son, had disgraced the COMMUNITY.

Jimmy was assigned to become a SCAVENGER and given a cot in a small bunkhouse on the edge of the COMMUNITY.

*****

The once happy little boy was now a disgruntled young man. He hated his life. He hated the PROPHETS, he hated the VASSALS and most of all he hated the ELITE. The knowledge of the easy life of those people and the struggle of his COMMUNITY tore at his soul every night. In the recess of his mind he knew that the COMMUNITY could only accept him back, if only they knew the truth.

To say he did not excel as a SCAVENGER is mildly stating it. He hated the life of dragging metal, the occasional food substance and firewood back to the COMMUNITY. After a time he realized that no one cared what he did or accomplished. During excursions into the forgotten and abandoned lands around them, he never spent time scavenging, rather he occupied himself with small adventures.

Sketching, painting graffiti, daydreaming and occasionally using the only good thing from his time of instruction, reading. This became his daily job.

The day that changed the world, came a few years after Jimmy’s return to the COMMUNITY. His SCAVENGER group had ventured to a small town a day’s travel away. They set up camp and the other men began to collect what they could. Jimmy, as always, wandered off in search of his own adventure.

Working his way around a mass of vehicles left stranded in the road, he came face to face with his destiny. There at the end of the street was a massive brick building with the words “ e County rary”. Letters were missing, He pondered the meaning of those still there and listening to a deep inner voice walked to the building and entered.

Jimmy cried out in awe and surprise. A building full of books! Rows and rows of books. Books were only used to wipe butts and start fires by his COMMUNITY. Very few could decipher the symbols. Jimmy knew though that with these priceless items, the plight of the PITIFUL could be improved. His heart told him that with the knowledge gained from these printed words, the COMMUNITY could learn how to make survival easier.

When the group returned to the COMMUNITY, no one noticed Jimmy’s absence. The men of his bunkhouse were even happy that there was one less to share food with. He had stayed to devour the knowledge to transform the COMMUNITY.

*****

Jimmy was meticulous in his research, dividing books into sections and his estimate of their worth. He quickly learned that the rows marked Fiction were fairy tales and not worth his time. He chose these rows to set up his camp. They Were close to the precious books he sorted.

One morning as the sun woke him he glanced up at the shelves and there noticed for the first time a book that bore the portrait of BROTHER V. Grabbing the book, he learned that BROTHER V was in actuality a man of before times, long dead. A man who it seemed wrote fiction. Amazed, he scanned nearby books and found not only one title, there were many. The man seemingly wrote a large quantity of work.
The next few weeks, his task of sorting and stacking volumes that might be of benefit to the COMMUNITY was abandoned. All daylight hours were now dedicated to reading this man’s work. As he worked his way through the collection of this man, the tug on his soul grew stronger. Nothing printed on these yellowing pages matched what the PROPHETS had spewed to the COMMUNITY. He had to know the truth, his soul thirsted for it.

One morning as he read, he found the BROTHER’S spiritual words and felt betrayed that the complete passage had never been shared:

"I wanted all things
To seem to make some sense,
So we all could be happy, yes,
Instead of tense.
And I made up lies
So that they all fit nice,
And I made this sad world
A par-a-dise"

LIES! As his spirit at first broke, the realization of what the ELITE had done hit him. He threw the book across the room and cried out. As the days passed his anguish grew into hatred and then into a deep desire for revenge.

*****

A plan developed in the coming weeks. Jimmy packed a few of the treasures he had selected and headed back to the COMMUNITY.

At the next meeting at the CATHEDRAL, he challenged the PROPHET with the information he had read. At first the people mocked him and cried out for his execution. Finally he held up a torn and battered copy of a book entitled, “Cats Cradle”, and turning it around pointed to the portrait of BROTHER V on the back.

The congregants were suddenly quiet. Jimmy opened the book and pointing to the page that bore the creed of their religion, invited any among his neighbors that could read to step forward and verify what Jimmy had said.

At first no one dared to move and then from throughout the crowd first one, then two and soon almost a dozen of the COMMUNITY walked forward to look at the printed words. As each scanned the text, their dementors changed. Looks of anguish and hatred filled their faces. Suddenly one of them began to mutter “LIES!”

Terror filled those standing before the pulpit. No one understood, until one of the readers, the oldest mother in the COMMUNITY stepped up and after calling for silence sobbed as she read the complete words of BROTHER V. Finishing the passage she told the crowd that Jimmy was right. All were LIES.

In a moment the PROPHET was dragged from the building, stripped of his clothing and stoned in the road before the CATHEDRAL.

From that day, the outcry grew and within months the PITIFUL had mobilized against the forces of the ELITE. The VASSAL forces once they learned of the truth threw down their weapons and joined the riotous mobs.

*****

The rest of the story is well documented on the rise of Jimmy as the savior of the country and how from then on all men, women and children were for the first time equal.

Roy Richard
November 2024