Assignment from a recent writing class:

Writing: Write a satirical story in which a government, business, or other organization uses absurdly exaggerated propaganda to enforce a social or political agenda. Use humor or irony to highlight the ridiculousness of the system, but also convey a deeper critique of how propaganda can be used to manipulate society.

                          Pssst. Wanna Buy A Watch?
I can’t name the institution for fear of my life and there is a distinct chance even the information I am about to share with you could cost me dearly. Bringing either death or total ruination in society. I graduated from a Midwestern, public “Ivy” league university. I hold a BSBA: Bachelor of Science in Business Administration and an MBA: Master of Business Administration. My minor and the dissertation I wrote for my masters are both unheard of subjects.

At the start of my Senior year, my Business Ethics professor gave me a copy of “How to Understand Propaganda” By Alfred M. Lee asked me to read it and to have dinner with him to discuss it. I was blown away by the subject matter. At dinner when we met, after he heard of my interest in Lee’s theories, he offered me an opportunity to minor in propaganda. This opportunity would include a guaranteed position at a Fortune 500 business upon graduation.

I finished my studies and wrote my dissertation entitled, “The Success of Mis-Information by the Republican Party in America”. Two weeks after graduation I found myself moving to Detroit and settling into a basement office at a major US car manufacturer.

I am assigned to the Prop Department. Most in the corporation have never heard of us and most who do hear us mentioned, assume we are part of the marine division. Our job assignment is to spin and manipulate various tales, most of them lies, to keep the workforce in fear for their jobs.

There are seven general areas of propaganda; Name Calling, Glittering Generalities, Transferal, Testimonial, Plain Folk, Card Stacking and BandWagon. We use variations of these to release a new rumor, tale, lie or piece of gossip every three weeks. Three weeks seems to be the ideal ‘simmer’ time, as we must move the peon’s attention elsewhere before they can falsify the most recent.

My most successful prop release dealt with the president of a major union that was deep in negotiations with my company. Using facial recognition software and by hacking into security cameras, I obtained a photo of him buying lacy under things at a major local department store. I released the photo along with a phone call to the local newspaper with accusations that he had a fetish for wearing such things.
They ran the photo and the ‘facts’ obtained from a reliable, unnamed source. The union president of course denied it all, stating that he was buying a gift for his wife. An estimated 17% of his blue-collar members believed the report and called for his resignation.

Three weeks later, with assistance from our artificial intelligence hipster, a shadowy, grainy shot of the said president wearing the undies, surfaced. In celebration of this, a rumor emerged that the photo had been acquired from the corporation and that they had been using it to blackmail him into selling out the union membership. He and the corporation both issued denials. No one believed them. 23% called for his removal and 37% stated they had no faith in the proposed contract.

During the next round against the man, I used the recent firing of a top executive for drunkenness,  to spin a tale that he had been found to be the extortionist. Along with this, a local prostitute immerged, motivated by my urging and a slight bribe; to state she had been with the president during his cross dressing. The president’s wife left him and the membership turned down the contract.

In the ninth week, a doctored bank statement, showing large deposits found its way to the news. The president never had a chance to respond before he was removed from office and was replaced with a corporate  friendly latchkey. The union membership accepted a poor contract and I received  a handsome bonus. My work on this issue done, I began to prepare for my next assignment.

A week later the union president committed suicide. I write this to ease my conscience. Never have my actions resulted in death. Writing this I hope will still my mind and soul. Not that any of you will believe this tale. The one thing we know is that the public never believes the truth.
 
Roy Richard
September 2024