I never dreamed of being a hero. My life has always been boring and mundane. I’m not even sure my mom and dad, as much as they loved me, thought I would amount to anything, let alone become a hero. Yet on a clear, chilly day in November 2023, my life changed forever.

The day started like normal. Up at 4:30 am, washed and dressed, coffee in hand, I headed out to the truck. She started right up and while it warmed up, I lit my first cigarette of the day. Pulling deeply, I scanned the yard and the neighbor’s houses. Like every morning, nothing looked out of place. Exhaling, I put the truck in reverse and backed out of the driveway.

Traffic was light as usual at this time in the morning and I made good time driving to work. As I reached my exit, something told me to go another mile and take the next one. Turning off the blinker, I did just that and thought why not, be different, see something new this morning. That thought, that action changed my life and everything I trusted to be true.

Exiting, I slowed going down the off ramp. I stopped at the sign at the end and looked both ways. Just as I started to accelerate, my eye caught something in the ditch by the ramp. My mind said no way did my eyes just see that and I started to speed away. Disbelief though made me slow and pull a U-turn in the road. Easing onto the shoulder, I stopped and placed the transmission in park. Slowly I looked out the window at the object lying there discarded and abandoned.

I looked down the road and then into the rear-view mirror, hoping someone was coming. Praying that another commuter would arrive and tell me that this was not real or would take over the responsibility of my find.

I lit the second smoke of the day and stared through the window at my find. Contemplating next actions. I told myself, “Drive away!” Yet my moral upbringing and the years of being instructed to do the right thing nagged at me. What to do, what to do?

I opened the truck door and flicked the butt into the gravel by the road. Slowly easing myself out of the seat and onto the ground, I made the decision to leave the door open and the truck running just in case. Just in case of what? A quick getaway? A sudden change of mind? You can’t be too careful, right?

Hitching my jeans up over my hips, I eased myself down the grassy side of the ditch. Trying to watch my step, while keeping an eagle eye on the object. These combined actions led to the old, “Can you walk and chew gum at the same time”, question. Obviously not. Losing my footing, I slid into the ditch on my jean clad butt, arriving inches from the questionable item.

Cursing, feeling gravel digging into my palms, I felt my heart beat quicken. Why? Why? I should have taken the normal exit!

Not thinking, I reached my toe out and kicked at the tarp that was covering the dreaded entity before me. Ack! What was I doing? What if it moved? I’m flat on the ground with no easy way of escape!

Pulling myself up, I slowly took the last few steps to my goal and reaching out with fingertips, gently began to raise the tarp.

My mind spins as I look down and something that will rewrite history and change my life forever. Will this find make me a hero? Will the masses hate me for it? Should I burn the evidence?

There under tarp lay a Burger King Uniform, the name tag reading, “The King” and leading off into the bushes, a trail of rhinestones.
 
Roy Richard
2023