I  had  a  job  once  threshing  wheat. 
Worked  sixteen  hours  with  hands  and  feet, 
And  when  the  moon  was  shining  bright, 
They  kept  me  working  all  the  night. 
One-moonlight  night — I  hate  to  tell, 
I  accidently  slipped  and  fell: 
My  pitchfork  went  right  in  between 
Some  cog  wheels  in  the  thresh  machine. 

Chorus — 
TA-RA-RA-BOOM-DEE-AY. 
It  made  a  noise  that  way, 
And  wheels  and  bolts  and  hay 
Went  flying  every  way. 
The  stingy  Rube  said,  “Well, 
A  thousand  gone  to  Hell,” 
But  I  did  sleep  that  night — 
I  needed  it  all  right. 

Next  day  that  stingy  Rube  did  say, 
“I’ll  bring  my  eggs  to  town  today. 
You  grease  my  wagon  up,  you  mutt. 
But  don’t  forget  to  screw  your  nut.” 
I  greased  his  wagon  for  him,  but 
I  plumb  forgot  to  screw  the  nut. 
And  when  he  started  on  that  trip, 
A  wheel  slipped  off  and  broke  his  hip. 

Chorus — 
TA-RA-RA-BOOM-DEE-AY. 
It  made  a  noise  that  way. 
That  Rube  was  sure  a  sight. 
And  mad  enough  to  fight; 
His  whiskers  and  his  legs. 
Were  full  of  scrambled  eggs. 
I  told  him,  “That’s  too  bad, 
I’m,  feeling  very  sad.” 

But  then  that  farmer  said,  “You  Turk, 
I’ll  bet  you  are  an  I  Won’t  Work.” 
He  paid  me  off  right  there,  by  gum. 
And  I  went  home  and  told  my  chum. 
Next  day  when  threshing  did  commence. 
My  chum  was  “Johnny  on  the  fence,” 
And,  on  my  word,  that  awkward  kid. 
He  dropped  his  pitchfork  like  I  did. 

Chorus— 
TA-RA-RA-BOOM-DEE-AY. 
It  made  a  noise  that  way, 
And  part  of  that  machine 
Hit  Reuben  on  the  bean. 
He  cried:  “Oh  me,  Oh  my, 
I  nearly  lost  my  eye.” 
My  partner  said,  “You’re  right, 
It’s  bedtime  now,  good-night.” 

But  still  that  Rube  was  pretty  wise, 
Those  things  did  open  up  his  eyes. 
He  said,  “There  must  be  something  wrong, 
I  think  I  work  my  men  too  long.” 
He  cut  the  hours  and  raised  the  pay, 
Gave  ham  and  eggs  for  every  day. 
He  gets  his  men  from  Union  Hall, 
And  has  no  “accidents”  at  all. 

Chorus— 
TA-RA-RA-BOOM-DEE-AY. 
That  Rube  is  feeling  gay. 
He  learned  his  lesson  quick,  . 
Just  through  a  simple  trick. 
For  fixing  rotten  jobs. 
And  fixing  greedy  slobs. 
This  is  the  only  way — 
TA-RA-RA-BOOM-DEE-AY.